Pan Handling In Hardwood (Spades)

[Sir Kiss Alot]

Well I am coming out of the closet here. I have lost my shirt as they say in Hardwood. Well Hardwood is a great place to make friends. I have met many people here. I also have been blessed with a Job and the ability to make money. With that said, I sometimes have found myself lonely and looking for love. And yes here at Hardwood I have found it. Well I found one person who was drug user who when it was all said and done with I lost several thousand of dollars to. And to another only about a thousand dollars to. Some would say I am a fool to have given money. But here on the internet relationships are built up fast. And we get caught with our guards down. Well I gave the money freely, however with the economy the way it is, I have noticed that more people are using this site for their private pan handling purposes. Their is a boyfriend girlfriend team currently working it Spades now.

I suspect that there is not just one person but several. And I have found out that I am not alone. There have been several for my friends that have given money to several different people. In all the people that I have talked to it so far has amounted to over 50,000.00 in the last six months. Some of these people who have given money are widows on fixed income. They feel sorry for these people and their stories. One of the best stories was the one who had cancer, raped, son broke his leg, she broke her leg, then other, and all to one person in just two months. Amazing. I was able to go this persons home which was a shack in LA in a drug infested area. The son's leg was miraculously healed, the cancer went into remission. Oh my miracles do happen but like this?

What can we do as members who know of people scamming, how can we help others who are being scammed. I know we all are adults here, we all work hard for our money and many of us are coming to this site with a need for friendships, companionship and love. Can we get that and not have our good nature hearts be abused?

I just want to start this thread to bring awareness and maybe we can share some ideas of how we as members, owners of leagues and even guides help our each other so we can deal with this growing issue.

thanks

Sirkissalots

PS sorry about the rambling

[Primal Instincts]

In my personal opinion anyone who hands money out on the internet is gullible and naive....I know a few who have done this and now they wanna kick themselves in the rear after 10,000 I told you so's......in almost 8 years playing in HW the only thing I have ever handed out is my cell phone number to exactly 6 people and not before I came to know them for a few years and absolutley no one has my address.......use a lil common sense when online.........as you would anywhere else.....

[Sir Kiss Alot]

I understand what you are saying. And apart of me wants to say yes.. Right on! But another part of me says. You know there are people starving for attention, affection and companionship. They find this here and they build relationships here. I have met many people who I call friends. On the otherhand I have fallen prey to some of these financial scams myself. I lost my Job, My husband left me. We have no money for diapers etc. The list could go on. In Euchre, I know of one lady that gave money to some young man for tuition for College. The money only went to support his drug habit. We certainly would not let someone come into our home and solicit our family and friends for money. But why dont we figure out some way to stop this in Hardwood.

[grandmaS]

For one thing most of that doesn't happen in hardwood, it happens on private IM's. You get to be friends and then get on each others messengers and things go from there.

I have never asked for money from anyone on the internet, nor have I been asked for it, I think the more vernable you make yourself seem the easier target you become. On the internet and in real life too.

I used to give money to people standing on corners begging for money to feed thier kids, until I found out that in 99 percent of the cases they had no kid and they were turning that money into drugs or alcohol.

I do things like when in line behind a young couple in the grocery store some weeks back, my husband and I observed that they were paying with a state welfare card and thier bill came to way too much. They put back this and they put back that until they finally had to go to the next register over and the store manager was helping them figure out what they could afford. They had put back almost all the meat they had bought.

We had bought a lot of meat for the freezer as that store was having a sale on meat if you bought it in large packages, when we went out to the van to put our groceries in we watched the store finally they came out with not much at all in thier basket and went to thier car, my hubby read my face and knew and pulled out a huge package of hamburger and handed it to me, I went over to the man putting what they had managed to buy and said here take this, he started to protest and I said no, today you are down on your luck, but you will get another job and be able some day to do this for someone else. I smiled and walked back to the van. He came over to the window and said " that is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me in my life, and I want you to kwow that I will do as you said and pay it back to someone else some day." he had tears in his eyes and I touched his hand and said I know you will.

Now I am not telling you that so you think I am some great person or this is some new concept, but to let you know to give to someone you see needing it. And give what you know will be used for the purpose you gave it. That hamburger could be turned into several meals for that family. And I slept good that night knowing they had meat to go with the potatoes and rice they had boughten. so I benifited to from the feel good feeling we got from it.

Don't give cash, give food, give a car part to a familly in a broken down car stranded away from home (we have done that too lol Ed even drove them to the part store bought the part and took them back to the car) if everyone helped in this kind of way they woudln't have cash to get scamed out of and thier would be more familys gettng the help they need.

Be wary, be alert and be kind, you can tell who is on the other side of the computer, you can tell who is standing in front of you in line at the grocery store.

We all want frindships and some love, (not me I have been married 37 years ) but be alert to warning signs. grumpie_girl and her family and mine have been freinds for years now. They are in Holland were in the states yet we feel very close. The most we have ever given each other is boxes of goodies at christmas. and the warm chats and friendships we have developed on line.

[Primal Instincts]

I might add that I have never been asked for money in HW as well or even in a messenger service talking to friends from HW.....and like GrandmaS I have sent boxes at Christmas to a select circle of friends from HW....

And she is absolutely right about how you will know the real people in need......and that was an awesome thing you and your husband did for those people Grandma.........hugzzz

[Sailing_Away]

This is a good discussion. Just like in life, the people you find here are of all kinds.

I am sorry you were bilked out of money, and I, too, have been generous to those who weren't truthful. Ouch!

What you are hearing in response to your post speaks a common thread. If a friend asks you for money, they were no friend. People truly in need won't ask, but users always do. People here have many, many friends in real life and on the Internet and none of them ask for money.

Yeah, some of the stories are sad. I knew one who gave me such a tale I didn't think anyone could make up stuff like that.

If you see one of these people operating, out them. Do people a favor and take them into a private room and tell them you know so-and-so is a cheat and a fraud. It won't stop them from cheating and defrauding people but it may stop them from doing it here, which is what you were asking about.

The one couple I know of who were cheats and frauds (in hearts), the woman is in jail convicted of fraud but the man is still free. Justice may come someday to all cheats and frauds, but sometimes it's slow and doesn't seem like it ever catches up to them. Best we can do is warn people when we encounter it, and don't ever ever give money. Ever.

[grandmaS]

Sorry Sailing but that would be agianst the rules, because someone could simply decide they didn't like you or were mad at you for something and say such things about you that reallly weren't true at all. Its sad but yes that does happen, which is one of the reasons we don't allow people to say in the lobbies, so and so cheats, or so and so is a quitter.

It has to be that each person decides for themselves whether this is someone they trust or don't trust. Not for anyone else to tell them. Not on Hardwood games in any room or lobby would this be allowed.

We all want to trust that what were being told is true, and comes from someone we trust but the fact is its hard to know the motives behind what people are saying, be they the ones asking for money, assistance etc. or the ones saying they were cheated.

Please think twice and even three times before saying anything either way here. Don't ask, don't give don't tell others,

Hopefully those reading this tread which has fortunately stayed as simply a warning to others not to fall into scams, without giving names, will be a warning to others that these kinds of things go one everywhere and to be watchful for thier own good.

[Sailing_Away]

Wouldn't truth come into play here, GrandmaS? It should be against the rules to spread false stories about people (in fact legally it would be slander or libel to do so whether it's oral or written false accusations), but the truth is the truth, and people have a moral obligation to protect the innocent against being preyed upon by those who are known predators.

I guess how SilverCreek can know when it's the truth and when it's libel/slander is the sticky wicket. I just hate the fact that people who prey on others always seem to get away with it.

[grandmaS]

Sailing no one likes that others get taken advantage of, but discerning who to belive is not all that easy. So everyone really just needs to take percautions, people get scammed all the time in real life and have to consider it a lesson learned.

I guess how SilverCreek can know when it's the truth and when it's libel/slander is the sticky wicket.

Your right that is the hard part and because this is a card site Its far better to have a general warning on here then to try to break down each one of the accusations and find the truth of it.

On the internet outside of Hardwood games, there are many scammers too they show up in your email almost daily.

Awareness that there is such a thing is one thing, pointing fingers is another and it will not be allowed.